Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
