All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
