why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
