Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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