Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
