you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
