Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
