So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
