I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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