He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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