Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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