on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize