he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
