haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just had sex bonerless
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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