so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
