Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
