Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
