I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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