me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize