dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
