I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
