He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
