you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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