In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize