Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
