Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
