Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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