Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
