If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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