so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
