this boner is exhausting
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
