my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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