I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
