Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
