you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Randomize
