For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
