I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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