but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
