Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
