No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
