last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
are you so shy because you have an std?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
