like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
