We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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