So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
