look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize