i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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