idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
