All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
