We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
