I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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