Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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