come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
