May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we should paint friendship bongs
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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