Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
