there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
