So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So many bounce houses so little time
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
