Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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