We need to rekindle our bromance
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize