apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
