Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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