dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
