I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
