Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
