we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
